Not Coming Out

Saturday, 11 July 2015




Infatuated by falling in love, I am often the carrier and crisis of my own romantic adventures and tragedies.
From my first heartbroken nosebleed, to the wine washed poetry that proceeds it proudly, the excitement and relativity I feel when getting to know and later idolising a human being is one of which I have the most spiritual space and time for. 
Locking eyes from across a bar or four am instant messages, there is a frightening honesty entwined within the face value and personal discovery of fancying another person that can be easily misconstrued for lust or hormonal confusion. I enjoy it, I relish it, I continue to seek it out in whichever thorny path I must trudge to see it- regardless of gender.

In the past I have been poked at for making connections very easily (something I don't think should be ridiculed) that I treat whoever is interested as my new found soulmate.
Boys whose lips I've kissed and girls whose hands I've held, always have my underlying intentions queried. 'Does this action mean that? Are you sure you should be doing it?'
Why not? Is my simple justification.

We are who we are because of the people we meet and those who we choose to learn from, so why should we limit ourselves from such a beautiful and innate education with a parameter that doesn't have to exist in the crass and conflicting barrier that gender is often negatively presented? You might love a man you might love a woman you might not know whom you love more - who am I to demand your reasoning? Why must we think a resolute understanding is the treasure under the X? The treasure is the discovery writhing around sure or not sure on top of the sand.

As a citizen of a sympathetic and awakened generation - it excites me that I can write this unscathed and fearless of judgement. How lucky I am to argue to my peers against my predecessors that gender holds no limit or anxiety against my fundamental right and need to show love. 

A label and a statement I feel is unnecessary, why when an assumption over my 'stance' will have been cast a thousand times by those who know and care for me and those who have just shaken my hand that has never effected nor bothered me be something I have to justify? To suggest is wrong? To confirm is correct? 

My love is for those who I wish to learn from, those who I can help and those who want to grow together with me. 
Man or woman, compatible energy is not born from their gender but from a shared desire to be. 

Should we now in an ever flourishing and understanding world still have to feel the pressures of coming out? The anxiety of being unsure? 
It seems ludicrous to me, violent to me, backwards to me. 
So this is me not coming out, this is me declaring my personal future as my own private adventure and search for a fulfilment much deeper than massaging societies norms for the sake of conformity. 
I love love, not one sole gender. 

35 comments:

  1. This is beautiful, Charly. I really am so happy with our generation - as a whole we are so much more open, accepting and free than previous ones. I hope one day we can reach a point where gender and sexuality are truly seen as fluid and normal.

    Erin | Being Erin

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  2. I feel as though my personal attitude regarding this topic has been summed up in one simple blog post. Being proud to love is hard but with more likeminded people expressing their views hopefully the common view of society will change. Thank you

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  3. Can I just say I totally saw this coming haha

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  4. Always pegged you for a carpet muncher and I'm rarely wrong. I also think Jack is bi, but I highly doubt he will admit it. I think Adrian is gay. I think Ben Brown is bi, I think Louis Cole is either gay or asexual. I knew Shane was bi, Joey Graceffa was gay, Connor was gay, Troye was gay, but maybe bi. The only person who didn't pass my gaydar was Ingrid Neilson. I was shocked about her.

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    1. What a presumptuous idiot you are, and to word it as crassly as you did. "Carpet muncher"?! Really? Grow up.

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    2. Shut up you bitch. I'm 15 years old and also a carpet muncher and that term is endearing in the states you slut. So YOU grow up.

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    3. I also have my suspicions about Jacksgap being bi. Why else would he be dating a 4 when he can obviously have a 10. And most of his guy friends are hot and gay looking too. Kinda hoping he is bi. So's i can have a chance. I'm 21/gay and ready for an English cock.

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    4. Holy shit did this take a weird turn. I want Chris Pratt to be bi or gay. Cause the way he handled those raptors in Jurassic World had me rock hard. Damn it!

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    5. Can you not be so disrespectful on here? These are Charly's friends and human beings not objects you talking about.

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    6. You're absolutely right. I don't know what made me say those horrible things. I must of been having a bad day and took it out on complete strangers. I apologize to Charly for saying bad things about her friends. Ashamed of myself.

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  5. "I love love, not one sole gender". Beautifully put, Charly. There seems to be so much anxiety caused because people are so often meant to conform. I think having a more fluid approach to gender and sexuality is the way that feels the truest to who I am and the world I want to live in. I love love, that is what is most important.

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  7. This is so beautifully written! I admire so much of what you write, but this one struck particularly close to home for me. Thank you for putting the thoughts I've had for a while into words. It is truly amazing.

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  8. This is wonderful.

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  10. Charly aren't you dating that Lola chick who goes with you Ibiza but noone ever mentions. That would explain why she's so private on social media but not famous or really has no justification having a private twitter. I am very suspicious of people and it's been a curse my whole adult life.

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  11. Still very confused to be honest.
    Is it about her being bi or is it about her not caring who she falls in love with and making a point?
    Anyone wanna clear that one up for me?

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    Replies
    1. this is Charly's big wordy mess of a way to say she likes the taco and hotdog equally. Nothing more than a few extra encyclopedia words threw in to dazzle us. it's kinda endearing i guess.

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  12. O man Charly i loved your poem about cellulite. I have no other social media so comment with so here is my review. It's rock solid and you should add it to your novel if and when you get it done.

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  13. What a beautiful piece on love and accepting ourselves and our actions. It's so easy for us to want to label people without realizing that no, we don't need to do that because it compartmentalizes people and limits them - and our understanding of who they really are.

    Erin | Erin and Katherine Talk Beauty

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