Sexting: I demand some respect, please.

Sunday, 16 February 2014


It is with awkward and somewhat vain compulsion that I feel the need to infiltrate my blog and whoever decides to stumble upon it with my views on sex. It's something that I have an inane desire to write about not because it is 'controversial' (as I've ignorantly been slammed for in previous posts) but because it's life.

At 18 I fall categorically and involuntarily into a role of total naivety and likely arrogance, it's something as new and exciting to me as is trying foreign food and drinking wines I can't pronounce. Never is it when I do those things am I apologetic for my inexperience, my apprehension or my scrunched face- yet with relationships and sex, these incredibly natural and honest emotions are shunned. I'm told to hide them away into a box and feel embarrassed.
I refuse to feel embarrassed.

It infuriates me to my core that talking about something so normal, so human and so dominant in our lives, particularly our young ones as it takes its imperfect debuted, is considered to be a taboo topic.

Instead of ranting broadly, which I know all too well I could do for the next fifteen years, I'm prompted to write this particularly personal and longwinded post about 'Sexting'.
I'll try and make this as ironically abrupt as the time I have spent sexting, in hope to get this across as succinctly as possible.

Much like everything else we do in life, our role in it should always be with heavy and happy consent. Sadly, that's frequently not the case.
In this digital age and as an online generation, we turn to our phones and to our computers eagerly over face-to-face contact, particularly when it's to communicate or request something that we'd feel a little ruddy cheeked over in person.

On a few occasions I've had guys text me asking for 'a photo'.
Unfortunately, they don't usually share my sense of humour when I turn the face-side camera on and do my best impression of a fish with twelve chins.

"I understand if you're not comfortable with your body." One boy once retorted with.
I have so many issues with this my hands fidget angrily over the keyboard as I type.
How dare you so precociously, wrongly and self-obsessively make the assumption that I am uncomfortable with my body because I wont show it to you.
I am so god damn comfortable with my body that I owe and demand it the respect you have zero intent of showing it.
Your sweet addition of kiss-face 'emoji's and the abundance of 'x's' after your cowardly request (there is nothing brave about asking to see someone's body behind the comfort of a screen) hold no persuasive form.
Attempting to camouflage your upset over rejection by shifting the attention to my own hang-ups and self-doubts speaks volumes about how right I am to withhold pressing send on an awkwardly posed, poorly lit photograph.

I've had all sorts of onslaught, offense and hostility thrown at me for standing my ground on something potentially permanently damaging (...we've all seen -that- Tulisa video) and I'm fed up of having to sit silent to it.
If you so desperately wanted to see me, awkwardly posed, in poor lighting, you'd get up from off your arse and come to my front door.
I can't promise I'll open it though, I might not be feeling 'comfortable' with my body.

11 comments:

  1. Charly, you call yourself naive but you are oh so wise. I absolutely love everything you just wrote.

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  2. I wish I had self-respecting friends like you. *sighhhh* Great article, obviously. xoxo

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  3. Thank the Internet Gods that you are here to set things straight, Charly. The-more-disappointing-portion-of-our-society just got serrrved.

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  4. I absolutely love your articles!

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  6. You write like a dream, Charly! xx

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  7. *slow caps* Brilliant. Finally someone who gets it! It's so freaking pretentious of other people to assume that because you don't show them or tell them everything that they want to see/know there is something wrong with you. Good on you for being so comfortable with yourself you've decided it's far too worthy to show off via a dumb text message! *internet high five*

    x leah symonne x

    itsleli.blogspot.com

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  8. Charly. You're outstanding. Just reading your blog makes me wish i knew you. Keep it up, i love reading your stuff!!

    xpartintheUK.tumblr.com

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  9. Yesss this is brilliant, I could read your posts all day!

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